When I’m Facedown, Begging My God

Posted on March 27th, 2007 by Tyler.
Categories: Christian Life.

Kelsey Zach

Maybe you’ve had times in your life where stress piles up and everything seems hopeless. I’ve definitely let stress get the best of me these days. I let it pile up in layers and layers, allowing it to build up, to in turn tear me down. I let school and work and finances and relationships and family and my past and decisions I’ve made and worries I have for my future build up and control me and my thoughts. I forget to capture the lies Satan is placing in front of me and throw them out.

Have I forgotten that my God is in control? Am I really of so little faith? Even after I talk and talk about trusting my God and letting Him be in control. Do I really believe that He’s good, like I’ve been saying over and over and over? I do, I do. And yet I struggle. I struggle because I’m human. There are days I’ve been broken to the point of tears as I realize how much I’ve hurt my God – and in those realizations I feel like maybe I’m really starting to get it. I feel like I’ve truly connected with this intangible God when I hurt so badly because of the hurt I’ve caused for The One I Love. But, then I make a mistake again and feel like a failure.

I used to worry about being accepted by others – getting accepted and feeling loved and admired by my peers was critical and vital to me – and maybe still is – but now, I worry about being a failure in front of God. And again, who am I to think such thoughts? I am not a failure in His sight. Rather, I’m a beautiful creation, and you are too.

Psalm 139:13-14 says:
“For you created my inmost being,
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”

I was fearfully – and wonderfully! – made by a Creator who sees me as nothing less than majestically beautiful. I was created by a Father who loves and forgives, by a God who IS indeed good. Perhaps I should stop worrying about that 15-page paper and say a little prayer? Perhaps I should stop wondering whether I am loved and start seeking His Word? Perhaps I should stop wallowing in self-pity and anguish about what I’m going to do with my life, and fall down on my knees, facedown on the floor, and WORSHIP and PRAISE the God who gave me life?

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